Let’s face it: men and women just don’t understand one another. It’s a story as old as time, but things don’t have to be a complete mystery for the guys out there. For us, not everything that the women in our lives do makes sense.
This is a glimpse into the way things work for women and the path that logic takes in their minds. For better or for worse every woman has experienced these things and by proxy so have the men in their lives.
1. Her Voice Will Change Based On Her Interest In You
There are a lot of ways that women will tell men that they are interested. The bulk of these signs are lost on us, go figure. But one that seems to be consistent across the board is the tendency of women to raise the pitch of their voice when talking to men they are interested in.
I’m not making this up, behavioral researchers have confirmed that women will speak in a higher pitch to men they find attractive. Just make sure she wasn’t talking like that because she had to use the bathroom before you swoop in.
2. She’s a Rose Among Thorns
Anyone that has the strength of will to hit the gym on a regular basis should be commended for their dedication. The process of set goals, work hard, and repeat is a difficult one to master. At the end of the day however many women will outright downplay how hard they worked to look as good as they do.
She would much rather you think that she was ‘born with it’ than have you think about her on the treadmill listening to Katy Perry. Besides, that makes her instantly more naturally attractive than other women who ‘had to work for it’.
3. She’s Camera Shy
Her pre-going out regimen is more complicated and labor intensive than your day job and when she’s done she looks stunning. When you get to the club or the restaurant does she want her picture taken?
No, of course not. “No, I look terrible” she’ll say. There is no cure. Order her a drink and tell her she looks beautiful.
4. She’ll Break Your Brain
Whether they mean to or not, the women in your life will mess with your head. She’ll start a simple DIY project at home and botch it so bad that the result is worse than when she started.
The truth is that it was a not-so-subtle hint to hire a professional to do the job. Also, try to recall: did you tell her you would do it six or seven months ago and never got around to it?
5. She Knows the Power of Her Boobs on Social Media
No matter how much they say that men are a mystery, women have a pretty good idea of how our minds work. A Facebook post of her in an oversized shirt and pajama pants with mustard stains on them (yes, even hot girls have mustard pants somewhere) simply won’t get the attention that her vacation picture of lounging by the pool does.
Let me put it another way, how many profile pictures of women do you see that don’t include cleavage?
6. Her Decisions Defy Conventional Logic
Have you ever gone out for burgers and fries with a girl? She’ll say something like this “Oh, skip the fries for me. I don’t need all of those calories”. Hey, that’s great, you have a diet with goals and you’re sticking to it.
When it comes time to dig in however, her “I’m just going to take one little, teensy-weensie fry” turns into a frypocalypse where no fries at the table are safe! But don’t you dare ask her why she didn’t order any fries for herself.
7. The ‘U’ Word
If she is used to hearing people dote on her for her looks she won’t remember your corny compliment. Compliments like that are a dime a dozen for a girl like her. But if you insinuate for even a second that today just isn’t her day or that her haircut left something to be desired, watch out.
When talking to women pretend that the ‘u’ word doesn’t even exist. If you mention the word ‘ugly’ and her name in the same sentence its game over for you.
8. She Might Not Like Your Smile As Much As You Think
No one is calling women liars but it does seem like there is a bit of truth stretching when it comes to their interest in your money.
While your girlfriend will deny it up and down, she can’t fight nature; the guy with the biggest wallet is the modern day equivalent of our ancestors’ strongest hunter in the village. And you know that guy had to beat the women off with a stick.
9. Women are Jealous
Whoever said that men are the jealous sex have never met a woman. Women can be so jealous that they will read into everyday situations finding imagined evidence of flirting in the most innocent polite social interaction.
Guys, did you smile at the cashier when she handed you your bags? Busted! You just earned yourself a night in the dog house.
10. Go Team!
Ladies, we really appreciate you taking an interest in our interests and extending the olive branch but some things are just ‘guys only’.
We love that you want to come to the football game and show your support but look at it this way: if you come you will ask questions on every bit of play or you’ll only talk about non-football related stuff. When it comes to sports appreciation, take a page out of the men’s book and swill beer in silence.